Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Indestructible

I vaguely recall my life before kids. It consisted of order and peace and neatly arranged knick-knacks on the living room shelves. My former childless self thought all the talk about "childproofing" one's home was the nattering of overprotective parents who were too spineless to discipline their offspring. Why, all you have to do is train your child not to touch things. Easy! Actually, it was possible with my first child. She was well-behaved and obedient, and I had the assistance of my husband's second set of hands and eyes to help keep her away from the breakables. Still, she managed to ruin the VCR by jamming a pencil into it. Oh, and she ripped off a patch of wallpaper. Then our second baby came along, she with the silent crawl and dexterous hands. I had to move my antique teacups way up high where she couldn't reach them and box up the books that she kept pulling off the shelves into a massive pile on the floor. And finally . . . the twins arrived.

Aside from a few pieces of furniture that the dog has chewed on, I basically live in a bare house. The pictures have been knocked off the walls by flung toys. Lamps have been pulled by their cords across tables to crash onto the floor below. Curtains have been tugged until they've weakened and torn from the rod, with the rod then used as a piece of gymnastic equipment until one end is finally ripped out of the wall and left dangling. Forget the porcelain collectibles and delicate music boxes—they're long gone in shattered pieces. That which the twins haven't broken, they've killed. Rest in peace, plants and betta fish.

The only items my 4-year-old Tasmanian Devils haven't yet destroyed are my musical cats. I'm not sure why feline figurines originally appealed to me. I don't normally go for these kinds of decor items, but at the time they struck my funny bone. I picked them up on clearance for a couple bucks each.

CATS! Playing musical instruments!

The other day, I ran across some musical dogs. ON CLEARANCE. It was a sign. Unfortunately, there were only two and I couldn't form a trio. Oh, well. They make a funky duo, don't you think?

What? They're whimsical!

You can e-mail me any time for tips. Tasteful, classy interior decorating is my specialty.




Dinner last night: pork chops with stuffing and mushroom gravy

Exactly one year ago:




12 comments:

Making It Work Mom said...

we are just now starting to get back to decorating/furnishing our house. Well I take that back actually now we have wrestling and balls being thrown and hockey sticks being tossed around. I think the breakables will stay boxed up!!

Let's call the the dogs and cats a Fab Funky design asthetic! See doesn't that make it seem better.

Katherine said...

I keep thinking about decorating above my fireplace, and then realize that I don't, because I might care about what I put up there.

myevil3yearold said...

I looked at my husband last night in despair asking him "When can we have nice stuff again?"

Anonymous said...

Long time lurker....love your blog!!

Gaspegirl said...

My baby is 5 and just this year we have started to buy nice things for our home... some of which he has already broken and others have made it thus far. We will have lots of time when the children are grown to have beautiful homes... unless they bring over the grandbabies!

Make it a great day!

Kristi said...

I thought with the second child that we were all set with an already babyproofed house. I was wrong. She gets into all sorts of different things than her sister did and so, here I go again trying to keep up with catastrophe!

Karen Peterson said...

Those are too funny. And quite...unusual.

The Shultzs said...

Those are cute and different! =]

Life is Like a Box of Chocolates said...

Tasteful indeed! I tend to keep the more pretty stuff to a minimum and these are confined to the foyer and up high on shelves in the great room. The only chance I'll ever have making a good impression on a new neighbor! LOL! Its sad I know!

lilmansworld said...

you'd do very well in an RV....minimal interior decor needed! I purchased my MIL a wrought-iron dog before she and her hubs retired to full time RVers. SHe named it 'bow' lol

Stephanie Faris said...

Motherhood definitely changes the look of someone's house, doesn't it? Your life goes from being filled with pretty little knick knacks to having toys all over the floor.

Traci said...

You are not alone, we call my 3 year old niece Olivia THE DESTROYER. Yes, she lives up to her title. Maybe you can save decorating money for the future. Or buy a fancy chandelier. ;-)