Tuesday, March 30, 2010

And So It Begins

Remember what it's like to be in sixth grade? I don't. I think I played trumpet in the elementary school band. I faintly can picture my teacher, although for the life of me I can't recall his name. Mr. Holmes? No, that's not it. Hopper? It started with an H. Or was it an S? The only thing I clearly remember is telling myself that when I grew up I would never treat my kids the way my parents treated me. Oh, how the worm turns.

My eldest daughter recently celebrated her twelfth birthday, and not only am I still reeling from that bit of news, but I am—on an almost daily basis—trying not to alternately laugh and then cry at my preteen's requests, such as:

1) She would like to start wearing eye shadow and mascara. As in makeup. Cosmetics. On her lovely, young face.

2) She has informed her father and me that next year for her thirteenth birthday the "only" gifts she wants are her very own personal cell phone, email address, and Facebook account. Well, okay, then.

3) She wants to play the radio at all times. In the morning, before I've had my first cup of coffee. In the car, with all four girls jibbering and jabbering over the music. In her room, blasting down through the floorboards. My 12-year-old responds to my protestations with, "You just hate music." It's not so much that I hate music, but that I love silence.

I don't think she's listening when I explain to her why she is not allowed to play on the computer all day, talk on the phone all evening, or spend every weekend at various friends' homes . . . she's too busy making her mental vows to never be as restrictive with her daughter as her mean ol' mom is with her.



Dinner last night: tuna noodle casserole, peas



9 comments:

Quadmama said...

Makeup already? I guess it's about that time. I wasn't allowed to wear makeup until seventh grade, but I remember a few girls in sixth grade who did and I was so jealous. I am just not looking forward to the teen years! (Although at the rate kids pick up technology, I'm surprised my four year olds haven't asked for cell phones!)

Katherine said...

I remember being that age and for some reason, all the things your daughter is saying sound vaguely familiar. Was I really like that? Oh, dear. This does not bode well for my own future with teens. At least it is still years away.

Michelle Hoad said...

and so it begins. I thought I would combat the music problem by buying an mp3 player. Don't make my same mistake, now I have to hear constant off pitch singing without the background music.

CambridgeLady said...

It worries me that my nine year old is already wanting to do all three!! She has a phone - though uses up her minimal monthly credit within days - and has an email address, but definitely no Facebook!! I can't stand her taste in music - Miley Cyrus and her ilk (bleughhhh) - and I have to get her listening to some decent stuff. And make-up? Well only for school disco - always the full clown effect but we're toning it down - the natural look is always best :o) We're in for a few years of fun before things get better. Great post ... and good luck!

Did you see my post about teenagers?

http://cambridgelady789.blogspot.com/2010/03/teenagers.html

Michele said...

As the mom of three teens, with five more up-and-coming, I say:

1. No eye shadow. No eye liner. Light mascara and lip gloss, maybe.

2. No. Too much privacy at too young an age. The privacy settings on Facebook are much better than they used to be. I just let my 14yo get a facebook, but the caveat is that he has to be my friend so I can see what's going on. Facebook comes with its own email capability, so that kills two birds. I also know his password and can check in myself, and HE KNOWS that I know, which is a deterrent in itself!

3. A modified maybe, but headphones are a must. And not after lights-out. We are having issues with the 17yo and depression, and have been told that the disturbed sleep due to late night tv and music is a factor.

And be aware of her choice of music. The music glorifying drug use, suicidal behavior, or promiscuity is right out. Introduce her to the Newsboys and Reliant K, if you haven't already. REALLY COOL Christian rock music. I love the Newsboys myself!

Wait until she wants to start dying her hair. OR until she comes home with a different hair color than when she left. I think my oldest was 15 when she pulled that one.

Good luck. You are in for a ride. God bless!

Karen said...

Twelve does seem to be a magic number for certain rites of passage.

Hopefully the full-blown attitude will hold off for a while longer!

The Shultzs said...

wow.....I know for sure I was 15 when I was allowed to wear makeup. I hated that rule then, but to be honest I hardly wear it at all now. =p My neighbors just bought their 10 and 7 year old a cell phone!! Nice huh?!? ugh Of course they are also the kids that ride in the streets on their bikes, without helmets and tease and torment any kid who isn't up to "their" standards. ugh Prayers for you Kim. My first teenager will be a boy and I am hoping it'll be easier then with girls. ;]

JoeyRes said...

I should just stop reading pre-teen posts. They scare me!

Amy said...

I had my girls add one item of makeup per year. First year--clear mascara. It glosses up the lashes and gives them practice. Next year lip gloss. Next year eye shadow. Not rushing into the makeup wearing will stop the over application of it.

We had a policy that the kids could only choose their hairstyles when they were 16. I gave in and allowed my third daughter to dye her hair when she was 13. She regretted it a lot. I stick by my 16 year old policy. They are more mature by then.

At twelve my kids get an email address and at thirteen they get Facebook with me as their friend. Again, it's a maturity thing.

Stick to your guns (whatever they are). You'll be glad you did. Keep up the good work!